Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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