She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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