I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
