Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
and she was petting her beer can
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hippo gnu deer
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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