She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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