They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
