Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
