What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
