What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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