Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
