remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
