i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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