we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
