Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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