Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
