Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
