Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
