90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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