Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
