if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize