I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
