It's Friday. Sex?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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