smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
