You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
did you just send me my own nude
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
