OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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