At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
