This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
