Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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