I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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