You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Soap is not a condiment
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
