I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
