she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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