i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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