i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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