Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
