I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
