Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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