Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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