This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
