Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
