return my video game
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
