I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
