when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I need water and some morals
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
