the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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