I understand Curling. That high.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize