So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
