I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
