You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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