my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize