You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
