Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
