this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
