Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
