In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
