I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The power of my boobs compel you
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize