I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
