chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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