you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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