the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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