Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize