He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
