Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Randomize
