Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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